Romatic Getaway
by Cyber Hyena1
Summary: The girls of Ranma take a romantic summer vaction, dragging Ranma with them. Ryouga, Mousse, and Kuno follow and hilartity inssues. R&R and please no flames.
1. Default Chapter

**Romantic Getaway**

Disclaimer: "I don't Own Ranma1/2. I don't mean to infringe on the creator's rights. Please don't flame me."

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Ranma walked into the dojo after his usual work out, and immediately noticed something was amiss. He was face to face with all of his fiancées, all were staring at him. He immediately turned for the door and found it swiftly blocked by Shampoo. "Listen, what ever it is girls I…"

"Shut up Ranma!" Akane started and he found himself being shoved gently into a chair. "The girls and I have been talking, and after much arguing, fighting, and attempts on each other's lives, We've decided to stop fighting over you. I fact we decided to share you."

Ranma's mental reaction could compare with a Fourth of July Fireworks display. His physical one to cartwheel all over the room. "Yahoo! Woo hoo! Hooo ! Hoo! Hoo! "Finally, life will be more peaceful around here! You won't be harming each other and I won't be caught in the cross fire!" He beamed. Then opened his eyes and noticed that his fiancées had gotten closer. "So, uh, what's up."

"Well, Ranma Dear, we decided to go for a romantic vacation this summer to celebrate. We're going to a stay in a European castle famous for it's romantic get aways." Kodachi told him shoving a brochure under his nose. "Well have fun!"

"You no understand." Shampoo said with a chuckle. "Your coming with us Ranchan." Ranma suddenly began to feel very claustrophobic as the girls gather near him. Before he could do anything though, he fell down unconscious, with Shampoo's hand on the back of his neck. "Okay, let's get him restrained and then we're off." Ukyo announced as Kodachi began to bind Ranma with her ribbon.

Meanwhile, just outside the dojo…..

Ryouga stumbled up to the gates of the Tendo Compound. "AH I finally made it!" He kicked open the gates and was about to utter his catch fraise when he was promptly run over by all four fiancées. "Somebody get the number of that bus?" the lost boy asked dazedly. He watched as the women ran off, carrying travel bags and a hogtied Ranma on their shoulders. "Heeeeeeeeeellllp Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

By a chance of fate, Mousse and Kuno had been running up to challenge Ranma and witnessed the whole thing. The conclusion was evident in Kuno's tiny mind, "Ranma you fiend!! You dare to cart off all those poor women!! I shall have righteous vengeance!!" He proclaimed. Mousse and Ryouga shook their heads. "Well this much is true, we can't let him take advantage of Shampoo!"

"Or Akane!"

With this in mind, the three avengers ran off…in three separate directions.

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"We would have made it hear sooner, if not for you fools!!" Kuno muttered at his two companions. "Shut up! We're here at least, so stop complaining." Ryouga snarled. They found themselves looking up at a small limestone and marble castle with creeping vines, two towers, a drawbridge, and a moat. A rather romantic fairy tail chateau. The building was located on a large cliff.

"Men we are about to embark on a crusade to rid the world of the foul sorcerer, that enslaver of women, that…."

"WILL YOU GET ON WITH IT ALREADY?!!"

Kuno shrugged and whipped out his bokken, Ryouga readied his trusty umbrella, while Mousse pulled out a spiked mace. "CHARGE!!" Unfortunately for the "Rescue party" their attack was cut sadly short by the draw bridge slowly drawing up. They soon found themselves running on thin air, then with a shriek, fell in.

Three head came sputtering to the surface, Kuno was surprised, he thought that Mousse and Ryouga would be a pig and a duck by now. "The water's luke warm." Ryouga answered the kedoist's un-spoken question. "Well it refreshing to get the trail dust off of us." Mousse commented. Kuno was about to reply when he saw something that made his heart freeze.

"Uh, gentlemen…um, my s-sister's p-p-pet, M-Mr. Turtle is in the moat." Kuno stuttered. 'What's so scary about a….tur-tle." Ryouga and Mousse turned and looked down, not a harmless turtle, but at a 15ft. long alligator with a collar around it's thick neck. The boys did what anyone would do…they screamed like ninnies and swam like Olympic speed swimmers. The chase continued around the moat for 10 laps of screaming swimming, roaring and terror before they swam to shore, still kicking their legs and stroking with their arms until they realizedthey were safe, then laid there gasping like half spent fish.

"What kind of *pant**pant* dolt gives his daughter a *gasp**wheeze* alligator for a pet!!"asked Ryouga. Kuno didn't bother answering, he just counted his blessings. "Well, now what?" As they ponder their situation, a stone came down and conked Kuno on the head. They all looked around for the source.

"Hey! Up here!"

The boys craned their heads up to see Ranma leaning over a balcony withlook of pure relief on his face. He was bare chested, and red in the face. "SAOTOME!! You will pay for kidnapping dearest Akane!" Kuno seemed to get his fighting spirit back, as he leapt up. "Nice to see you too. Look, can you guys rescue me? The girls have me and I don't know exactly they're going to do me but I'm getting the gist of it." They stared at him and burst out laughing. "Why should we?" asked Ryouga. "Please, the longer you wait to help me, The closer I am to death! I may just hang myself by my underpants!" This got more sniggers. "They stripped you." Mousse pointed out to him. "I could get underpants! Or I could just strangle myself!" with that, Ranma put his hands on his throat and began to choke himself.

I response to this, Mousse pulled out a kettle of water and the three rivals began to drink tea. "Okay, this is the way I see it, I get Akane, Mousse you get Shampoo, and Ryouga you get Ukyo." Kuno said in a diplomatic tone. "What about you sister?" asked Mousse. "What about her, we'll just kill her." Ryouga suddenly focused his ears. "He stopped strangling himself." The turned to see Ranma back on the balcony, alive and well.

"Why did you stop?" asked the lost boy irritably. In response, Ranma turned around and reviled his hands, bound tightly behind him. "Ya know, guys, I don't need to kill myself, but I'd appreciate help before something unspeakable happens." The Ranma paused as if listening to something. "Oh and the girls heard your plans, and Akane says: 'Kuno, if you lay one hand on me, I'll send you out of orbit.' Shampoo says she'll smash your head into your stomach, Mousse. And Ukyo said something about bacon if Ryouga gets any funny ideas." Ranma then was dragged back into the room protesting.

"We've got to get in there!"

"But how?"

"I have an idea." Ryouga said. The other two stared at him with amusement. "Well I do."

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"Bakusai Tenketsu!!" Ryouga cried as he used his infamous breaking point technique. Kuno and Mousse followed close behind in the lengthy tunnel the lost one had dug. "Are you sure, we're there?" asked Mousse skeptically. "Of course! My map is infallible! Now just have to…there!" Ryouga blew a hole in the roof of their tunnel, and Kuno shoved him aside and with out first checking to make sure where they were, Kuno leaped out of the tunnel….and into a bath house full of women.

"EEEKK!!!" "EEEEK!!" PERVERT!!!" "Ouch!" "Owie!" "Oh that's going to leave an mark!" "Ouch! Ooch!" "Very sore!!" "EEEEKKK!!"

Kuno fell back in the hole, covered in bruises and sporting three lovely lumps on his noggin. "Well, where are we?" asked Ryouga. The Blue Thunder merely grabbed his tunic and hoisted himself into Ryouga's face. "Why don't you look?"

Ryouga had a better idea, he took a stick with a canvas and cotton replica of his head on it and pulled it out of his pack and stuck it out of the hole. A few seconds latter the stick vibrated violently, and when Ryouga pulled it back in, the head was missing. "I don't get it, the map said to stop here." He scratched his head while Mousse snacked the paper from his hand. "You fool! Happosai made this map!!" Ryouga shrugged as he and Mousse picked up the limp from of Kuno and dragged him back.

1 hour later….

"Now what do we do?" asked Kuno irritably as he held some ice ageist his head. "Well I guess we go for plan 'B' now." Said Ryouga. "We have a plan 'B'?" asked Mousse. "Of course we do, I just haven't though it up yet." The other two fell over.

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Well that's it for now. I'll right up chapter two as soon as I can. I the mean time please review and no flames.


	2. Every which way but the right way

**Chapter 2: The First Day**

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Author's notes: I give credit to cyberpheonix for quite a few of the jokes. Guest appearances by Saberwulf, Dracula, Dr. Frankenstein, and Pearl Forester.

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Kuno, Mousse, and Ryouga glanced worriedly from left to right, hoping they wouldn't be spotted. After surveying the area, they placed a long board over the moat of the castle and cross over to the far wall. Ryouga then stepped forward and placed his finger on the wall. "Bakusai Tenketsu!" The wall easily crumbled away, and they charged forward….smack dab into a solid steel wall. "Shit! They lined the walls with steel plates!!" moaned Ryouga as he straightened his nose out. "Now what do we do?"

"Stand aside." Mousse said, pulling a blow torch from his sleeve and placing his glasses down over his eyes. "Brilliant!" Kuno applauded, clapping the blind hidden weapons master on the back. After a few minutes, the wall back to turn a bright red. Ryouga then noticed little drops of water coming out as Mousse worked. "What's with the running water?" he asked Kuno.

Meanwhile, inside…

"Wasn't that a refreshing swim?" asked Akane as she and the other girls, plus Ranma climbed out of the Olympic sized swimming pool. "Yeah, can I get some hot water?" asked the pigtailed girl. "Hey how did you get here?" asked Kodachi. Ignoring her, they headed toward the Jacuzzi in the corner.

Ryouga and Kuno stood in though before they realized what running water meant behind a wall. "MOUSSE!!! DON'T!!!" Too late, a sizeable hole formed and a pressurized stream of hot water shot out, knocking all three boys off their feet.

*Splash*

"ROAR!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

Once again Kuno and company fond themselves swimming for their lives. The women on the inside were puzzled by the Jacuzzi's tide suddenly going out. "What happened to all the water?" asked Uyko, scratching her head in confusion. Then they heard the masculine screams of terror and the roaring of "Mr. Turtle." "If Shampoo had to guess…"

One hour later……

Once again, the boys attempted tunneling their way into the castle. Ryouga was still digging the tunnel, but this time Mousse was in charge of reading the map. "Okay, take a left here….and now we should be there!" Another hole and they burst out, to find themselves in the wrong place. "This isn't it!" Kuno snapped. "Well it's a castle isn't it?" asked Ryouga. "Yes, but don't you think that a romantic castle getaway wouldn't be so…rundown." Kuno gestured to the gloomy ruins. Ryouga still wasn't convinced. " Well, what wrong with it?"

"Ryouga, look around, it's dark and gloomy, there's tattered tapestries and drapes, rusty shields and weapons hanging on the walls, a creepy lit fireplace, and a big werewolf with metal arms in the corner….BIG WEREWOLF WITH METAL ARMS?!!" Mousse leapt into Kuno's arms Scooby Doo style and Kuno dropped him and turned to face their enemy, then saw how big he was and started to quake.

"There's no such things as werewolves." Ryouga chuckled. "Tell that to him!"Kuno and Mousse yelled, pointing at the creature in the corner. "You guys are so superstitious. That's probably just a hairy guy who hasn't shaved in a while." His companions look at each other and the same though ran through their heads: Just how dense is he? As this went on, the werewolf in question stepped forward into the light, giving them a better look at him. He had gray fur and was slightly hunched over, most of his arms were indeed, metal, and his tongue was hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

"Okay, maybe it isn't hairy man, maybe it's somebody in a very elaborate werewolf costume." Ryouga stepped forward and did something that would give Mousse and Kuno the right to egg him on about it for the next year or so, he began to tug on the monster's ears. The lychonthrope started to growled nastily, and Mousse and Kuno began to back away to the hole. "Stupid mask, why won't it come off?" The something clicked his normally dense brain. "This isn't a mask is it?"

"Nope." Mousse stated blankly. Time froze for a moment before all three screamed in terror as the werewolf leapt at them, fangs and claws bared.

Three hours later……

"Not a werewolf huh? Costume huh? Superstition HUH?!" Mousse asked sarcastically. "So I was wrong for once in my life." Ryouga grumbled as they began tunneling yet again. "You have to admit though, that Baron Saberwulf is rather nice gentlemen." Mousse said thoughtfully. "Yeah, once Ryouga explained that we didn't work for Ultratech or the San Diego Zoo." Kuno mumbled as they continued digging.

Once again they ended their tunnel and found themselves in another castle, except they were again, in the wrong castle. "Mousse, you idiot! You lead us into the wrong castle…AGAIN!!!" Kuno did a very nice impersonation of Soun Tendo's Demon Head Technique™. "Well, at least it isn't run down." Ryouga said. "Yes, but it's too…elaborate for a simple romance château, and I'm pretty sure the castle has electricity." Kuno leaned on his bokken as he glanced around at their environment. The room was richly decorated in fine linen, tapestries, expensive Persian rugs covered every square inch of the floor, and polished suits of armor stood in neat rows. The large dinning table was covered a fancy velvet table cloth, torches and candelabra's lit the room. A large crystal chandelier completed the whole place. "Well, maybe they're into the whole Goth thing." Ryouga asked, still unsure of himself. "Maybe my sister is, but not the others." Kuno said. "Well maybe we can ask that guy."

The man in question was watching them from the end of the table, sipping a champagne glass full of a red liquid. He was the tall sort, dressed in a fine black evening suit with a red and black opera cape. His face was youthful, but his hair was long and white. "Welcome, gentlemen. I am Count Dracula." The other's just stared at him and Ryouga eagerly took his out stretched hand. "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where the hell we are?" Ryouga asked in Romanian. "You are in Transylvania."

"Did he just say Transylvania?" asked Mousse. Kuno nodded. "Ryouga can I speak to you for a moment?" Mousse gave their host a nervous grinned and dragged Ryouga toward their hole. "Ryouga, Kuno. I do believe our friend over there is a vampire." Ryouga burst out laughing. "You guys! Now I'm sure vampires don't exist." Kuno glared at him. "That's what you said about werewolves." Ryouga return the glare. "When are you going to let that go? Look, you ninny. He's just a eccentric count who's into Goth and needs a sun tan."

Ryouga then put on determined look and walked over one of the large windows block by thick draperies. "You know, Count you real ought to get some sun in here." Dracula let out a yelp and ran at the lost boy. "No you fool!!!" Too late, Ryouga threw open the curtains and welcoming sunlight streamed in. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Dracula in mid leap bust into flames and crumbled to ash.

"No such thing as vampires, ne?" Mousse and Kuno wore smug looks. Ryouga looked doubtful. "It could be a trick, maybe there an elevator in the area."

"The floor is solid." 

"Maybe he dug a hole, like I just did."

"Don't you think there would be a hole there?"

Before Ryouga could argue, a mob of torch and pitchfork wielding peasants broke in, using another peasant as a battering ram. They all froze in their tracks and gawked at the scene before them. Three foreigners stood in the middle of the home of their dreaded enemy, one of the large widows was wide open, and a blackened pile of ashes sat near the sun beam cheerily lighting the hall. The peasants thought for a moment then cried out, "That you for deliverance from the count!" They cheered and the boys blink in surprise.

Ryouga was approached by the mob leader(the one they used as a battering ram,) and said something to him. Ryouga gave flattered smile and translated for his comrades. "They're inviting us to a feast at the mayor's house!" Kuno shook his head and gave a heroic grin. "A samurai never excepts any reward except for that of a good deed and…..guys?" Kuno sweat dropped as watch his companions get carted out on the mobs shoulders. "We're not samurai's!" they called with glee. Kuno then ran after them. "Hey wait you guys, I'm hungry too!"

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"Damn you two!" Kuno shouted as the were once again traveling through the ground. "Just because we couldn't turn down a banquet." Ryouga smirked as continued his work. They soon made another opening and found themselves in a laboratory where a stereotypical Mad scientist was working on a large hulk wrapped with a sheet.

"I think I've seen this guy in movie somewhere before…" The mad doctor turned and spotted them. "I think we had better bid a strategic retreat." suggested Kuno. "Hey you stop right there." The boys shrieked and ran back down the tunnel. The MD scratched his head. "Huh, I thought everyone liked cookies and milk." He pulled back the sheet to revile and pile of chocolate chip cookies and a pitcher of milk.

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"Well I hope this the right place." The boys stuck their head out their new tunnel and saw them selves in another mad scientist type castle. Over the fire place was plaque with a hand crushing the planet Earth. "Hey, what the hell are you doing here." They found themselves face to face with a heavy set woman with dishwater blond hair, and pale man with a hood and cape, and an ape.

Ryouga held out his map to the woman. "Could you tell me where we are?" "Your in Castle Forester." replied the pale guy. As Ryouga and the pale one went over the map, Kuno went and leaned on a strange control panel with the faces of a blond man in a blue jumpsuit, a spidery gold robot and a short red hover bot that resembled a gumball machine. His elbow accidentally hit a button that said "Satellite Release Button. "Hey what'd you do!!?" screeched the blond woman. "Hey guys we're going home!!" the man on the view screen said joyfully. "Thanks for the help, ninja boy!" "That's Samurai!"

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"That woman didn't have to hit me so hard!" whined the Blue Thunder as he and the others ventured through the tunnel once again. "Okay, 5th time's the charm." Mousse said optimistically. The broke the surface and fond themselves……right back where they stared in the first place. Kuno clonked Ryouga and Mousse's heads together. "OW!"

"You Idiots!! What's with you?! Let me see that damned map!" Snatching it from Mousse, the kendoist looked it over and fond something that made him simply seethe with anger. "THIS MAP WAS MADE BY HIBIKI!!!" "That explains *so* much." 

2 hours later……

Kuno, with a determined look on his face was swing a grapping hook. After a few swings he threw it with all his might and grinned with triumph as it snagged tightly on something. Pulling it taunt, he began to climb, followed by Mousse and Ryouga. 'Soon, I will be victorious, and then I will smite Saotome of the face of Earth and enjoy the company of Dearest Akane, and perhaps the pigtailed girl.'

' My Dear Shampoo, soon we will be together!'

'I think my leg is cramping up…'

Kuno soon neared the battlements and fond himselfstaring at Akane's face. "Hello Akane Tendo I have…….what are you doing with those hedge trimmers?" Akane smiled and opened them right near the rope. "I…I see. Gentlemen, slowly back down….NOW!!" They began to hastily climb back down on the rope, but Akane gave the shear a gentle squeeze, and he boys fond themselves visiting Mr. Turtle again.

"You Know what?"

"What Kuno?"

"This would be refreshing if not for the murderous beast on our asses." "Shut up and keep swimming!"

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End of Chapter 2


	3. Exit Ryouga

**Chapter 3: The Second Day**

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Author's notes: Glad you like the stories, so I'm coming out with a new chapter right now! Keep reviewing.

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"Why me?!" whined Ryouga as Kuno and Mousse shoved him toward a cannon. "Because, you have the hardest head of any of us. You would be doing our crusade well." Kuno said, tears streaming down his eyes. "You have an even thicker head." Muttered the lost boy. "What was that?" snapped Kuno. "Nothing."

Ryouga gave a dejected sigh as he climbed into the canon. Mousse aimed it towards the castle's weak spot, a window. Due to the activity with in the room(they had a pretty good idea of which,) the pane had shattered. The girls had put up a plank of wood until a replacement could come.

"Ready…"

"Uh, guys…"

"Aim…."

"You know I don't think I want to do this…"

"FIRE!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Ryouga went hurtling at his destination, a solid object. He shut his eyes and braced for impact.

Akane was looking at a magazine with an annoyed look while lifting a 10 lbs. weight in the other hand. "I wish I could test this on someone.." she glanced at the other occupants. "Ukyo looked up from the cook book she was reading. "Don't look at me." Shampoo and Kodachi gave her looks that said"No." "How about Ranma?" suggested Shampoo.

Akane shook her head. 'I think he need some rest right now." The girls pondered the situation for a moment before hearing faint screaming that kept getting close till the all jumped when Ryouga's head burst through the make-shift shutters. Akane grinned broadly as Ryouga snapped out of his daze and began to shake when he saw her smile.

Kuno and Mousse watched from the outside as the Eternally Lost Boy's head went through the window shutters. "Excellent! Now let us in!" Mousse called up to him. Ryouga's body didn't move then it twitched slightly. Scratching their heads the other two boys watched the lost one as he suddenly began to thrash violently, his screams coming clear and loud. Mousse and Kuno watched with horror, then Kuno bowed his head out of respect, and ashen faced, Mousse pulled out a small bugle and began to play Taps. Then Ryouga's body was pulled in all the way.

Suddenly the front door opened and Ryouga stumbled out. "Visit sometime again, sugar." Ukyo called out. He ambled over the drawbridge and up to his comrades. They stared blankly at him for a moment then turned red in the face and burst out laughing, tears running down their faces. "What's so funny?"

Ryouga's head was a riot. His hair had been dyed bright orange with some purple highlights. His eyebrows had been teased until the curls had curls. His face was powder white, and his eye's were drowning in eye shadow. His lips had black lipstick and to top it off, there was a comb stuck in his hair, tangling it into a very messy knot. They had mercifully left his bandana alone, save tying a polka dotted ribbon to it.

"My god, they turned him into a mime!!" Mousse gasped in between fits of hysterics.

"Laugh it up. Laugh it up. Now if excuse me, my blush is smudged." Ryouga stomped off. Mousse and Kuno looked at each other, then burst once again into peals of laughter.

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The Next Morning….

Ryouga leaned ageist a tree as he and Mousse watched Kuno climb up to the tallest tree near the castle. The would be samurai was tying a rope to one of the higher braches. "Now the golden wigs ofLamoure shall guide me to yonder portal and to the fair lady Tendo!" Mousse slapped his face with his hand and Ryouga feigned death. "Yoinks and Away!" Kuno cried, putting a rose in his teeth and swinging out on the rope.

Ryouga and Mousse where awed by the Blue Thunder's excellent swashbuckler rope swing. They would have applauded him, if he didn't hit the tree in front of him. Kuno then continued cry "Yoinks and Away!" And every time he crashed into various environmental objects such as trees, really large boulders, cattle, and other barriers after each time he would try again still crying his cry. Each time sounding more drunk until finally smacking into the castle wall with a cry of " Yoinks and….aw hell with it."

Kuno moaned as he began to slowly peel off the wall and fell into the moat. The surface was still and peaceful…then one bubble came up, then another, and several more, then the surface broke. A very wet and mangled Kuno was screaming, while holding the jaws of Mr. Turtle apart with his feet, forcing him to do a very painful split. "HEEEELLLP MEEEE!!!"

On shore Mousse and Ryouga were eating their breakfast in companionable silence. After awhile of screaming Ryougaturned to face Kuno, who was hanging on to the back of the gator's neck as it bucked and twisted. "Hey Kuno, quit playing with Mr. Turtle and come get your breakfast!" Ryouga turned back to his food. "What the hell is he doing over there?" asked Mousse. "He's perfecting his alligator wrestling skills." The Hidden weapons master glanced causal in Kuno's direction. "He certainly needs practice." Mr. Turtle floated lazily on the surface, a pair of kicking legs were sticking out of his jaws.

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'Well now what do we do?" asked Mousse. Ryouga shrugged. "Maybe we could dig another tunnel?" Kuno snorted derisively. "Yeah, and perhaps we'll end up in Tibet." Ryouga glared at him.

"How about we pose as sales men?"

"Nah, I just saw two of them go up. Shampoo smooshed them her maces and threw them in the moat."

"Maybe we could flood the castle?"

"Akane can't swim!!"

"Not my problem."

'Shut up! Maybe we could….OW!"

"Maybe we could what?"

Ryouga rubbed his head and held up a brick. "Hey up here!" They looked up to see Ranma leaning out a window. "What do you want, you insufferable woman snatcher?" asked Kuno. "Oh nothing, nothing at all. Just have a word from the inside." That got their attention.

"What do they want?" asked Kuno hopefully. "Oh nothing, they're just inviting Ryouga up." Ranma ad hardly finish speaking before seeing Ryouga jump over 5 ft in the air with joy. "WAHOOO!!"

"Wait, there's a catch, he has to be P-chan."

"No deal Saotome! Either we all get in or none of us do, Right Hibiki? Hibiki?" Kuno and Mousse sweat dropped as they saw Ryouga running up the draw bridge. "SO LONG LOSERS!!" Ryouga shouted as he poured a canteen of water on his head. Then to rub it in his ex-comrade's faces, P-chan began to moon walk the rest of the way in. "I didn't know pigs could do that." Muttered Mousse. "You should see him tap dance."

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Earlier that morning……

"Oh what a wonderful day!" Kodachi sang as she danced down the stair case, the black robe with rose imprints fluttering out as the gymnast pirouetted on one foot. "Well, look who finally come down." Akne said. Kodachi shrugged as she walked into the kitchen. "Where, Arien?" asked Shampoo suspiciously. "Oh, he be along. He's a little….out of sorts right now." She said with a wink. The other girls shook their heads. A few minutes later Ranma stumbled down the stair case, ambled over to his chair at the table and after sitting down, let his head fall forward.

"Morning Ranma."

"Mo…morning." He mumbled picking his head up. He girls gave him a look of concern. "I lived the night, congratulate me." He then eagerly grabbed the breakfast that Ukyo set before him. "Just what did you do to him?" asked Ukyo with a dangerous gleam in her eye. Kodachi sipped her tea. 

"Nothing *too* kinky."

"He was screaming for half the night."

Before Kodachi could answer a whip fell out of her robe's sleeve. Akane picked it up and gave the gymnast a withering look. "I didn't actually hit him with it." She said defensively. "Then why, Arien scream during night?" asked Shampoo. "She faked me out." Ranma answered wiping his chin. The girls glared at Kodachi, who sighed with frustration. "Okay, no more dominatrix……for a while." She added the last part quietly.

"Ranma?"

"Mmm?"

"Could you invite Ryouga in? Tell him he has to be P-chan though."

"Why?"

"So the others won't get jealous."

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Present….

"Don't let Hibiki's mutiny get you down, men. We shall prevail!" Kuno was giving Mousse a failed pep talk, which he was naturally ignoring. Kuno went on for another 20 minutes before Mousse marked his place in War and Peace and slipped it back into his sleeve.

"Well if your quite finished, I suggest we find away in there before the end of the summer." Mousse proposed. They both sat down and though for a moment before Mousse's face brightened. "I have an idea. But first…do you know the name of this castle?" Kuno shook his head and then noticed a sign. "Hello? Let's see here….oh. The name is in Gaelic." Kuno scratched his head, Mousse pulled out an extremely thick Maderian to world language book and flipped through a few pages. "Let's see…ah here it is! Castle…Ku..Kumbuquet."

"That name sounds familiar…"Kuno said thoughtfully. "No time for that now. We have to get to the post office." The blind martial artist cried as he dragged Kuno off to a near by village.

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A Few Short Hours Later……

The girls and Ranma were in the small gym working out. Akane heard the faint whistle of the postman and stopped mutilating the punching bag. "Hey Shampoo, could you go get that?" Shampoo put down the barbell she was lifting and grabbed a towel as she exited.

Shampoo opened the door and found a large package on the threshold. The box itself looked battered and warped. She curiously checked it out. That's funny, no return address. It looks broken, I'd better send it back. With that the Amazon took her bicycle and set off for the town.

In Nermia………..

The post truck drove by the Tendo Dojo, the previously mentioned box being punted out of the truck. It was covered by stamps and labels. A few groans emitted out of it and it feel apart, releasing an equal batter and bruised Mousse and Kuno.

"Damn it! We're right back where we started!" Moaned Kuno. "We have to get back…but first, get me to Doctor Tofu's. Quick!"

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End of Chapter 3


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